Fun And Games

I've been having fun and games with Wedding Hat lately.

A bit of background.

The yard has four stable blocks. Normally the first person down to the yard works their way round all the stable blocks feeding all the horses, then gets on with turning out their horse, and getting on with their jobs.

Not Wedding Hat. I share the main american barn with Wedding Hat.

When Wedding Hat arrives first thing in the morning her routine goes like this:

1. Throw horse #1 out into turnout paddock one.


2. Fetch BIG WHEELBARROW to barn. There is only one BIG WHEELBARROW on the yard. BIG WHEELBARROW halves the number of trips you need to the muck heap. It's sought out by all; as far as Wedding Hat is concerned first thing in the morning IT'S HERS. Never mind that once she has it it sits unused outside her stable for ten-fifteen minutes while she fills haynets. She got their FIRST.


3. Throw horse #2 out into turnout paddock two.


4. Start to feed the horses in the american barn that have been kicking off waiting for their breakfast while she was scuttling round looking after herself.


5. Completely ignore the other three stable blocks - someone else will be down and can do those. If Wedding Hat could get away without feeding any other horses at all she would.

This routine is calculated to ensure that Wedding Hat gets both turnout paddocks and the only BIG WHEELBARROW. Wedding Hat is so selfish that she won't even turn on the lights when she needs to fill her haynets, because that would take her into another stable block, she'd wake up those horses and have to feed them. Even on these dark early mornings she'd rather fill her nets in the dark than do anyone else a favour. It's comical to watch.

Now, if you happen to turn up at about the same time you can fluster Wedding Hat as you put at risk the turnout paddocks or BIG WHEELBARROW. But that relies on timing. You can't always guarantee to get down at the right time to unsettle her.

One morning I saw how to have fun with Wedding Hat. Her scuttle - like a hungry chicken all waggling tailfeathers and hustle and bustle - as she raced to be first to BIG WHEELBARROW was hilarious. Her feigned insouciance didn't fool me. I knew at once how to get her.

The BIG WHEELBARROW is usually left just outside the barn. So last thing at night I started leaving it by one of the other stable blocks. She could still find it, but I was adding a 40 yard walk to her routine every day. She could save this by picking up BIG WHEELBARROW on her way back from turning out horse #2, but someone else might get there first. This is a risk she can't take. As she's slightly overweight anyway I figure I'm doing her a favour.

Then I started throwing some variety into the routine. I left BIG WHEELBARROW in it's usual place, but left it behind all the other, smaller barrows. Sure enough next morning all the small barrows have been cast aside in the quest to get BIG WHEELBARROW. So I have two ways of unsettling Wedding Hat.

Then I found a third way. I figured that if I left BIG WHEELBARROW in the main stableyard Wedding Hat would have two choices:

1. look for and find BIG WHEELBARROW and have to feed another three stable blocks,


2. use a small wheelbarrow.

I tried this and next day Wedding Hat was using a small barrow. Her face when I walked into the barn with BIG WHEELBARROW - having fed the other three blocks - would have turned me to stone. I deliberately left it unused outside my stable for ten minutes while I did some other jobs. Just to rub it in. I figure this last one would wear thin very quickly. It's only to be used occasionally interspersed with the other two methods.

It brightens every mornings to spoil Wedding Hat's daily routine.